My my. It’s been eight long months since we last saw a new episode of The Amazing Race. The season premiere of the Amazing Race 13 was another bang up episode. Lots of fun and there was quite a bit of drama. Let’s go over the very first episode of the new season.
As we see Phil, he’s on top of the Century Plaza Towers in Los Angeles.
He tells us that classic cars are transporting 11 teams with existing relationships to the LA Memorial Coliseum, once home to the Dodgers, Rams and Raiders, currently home of the USC Trojans and the only stadium to host the Olympics twice (1932 and 1984). Phil proceeds to introduce us to the teams, but you can get more familiar with them here. No need for me to do a write up when I already have an introduction to the teams.
So let’s jump ahead to the start. Phil does his usual monologue to begin the race. He tells us that there are 11 legs, 8 of which are eliminations so this season, we will have non-eliminations this season. Good to know. Last year, we fans were informed there were no non-elims, only to have one pop up during the season (curses you, Bertram Van Munster!!).
Anyway, as Phil says, the teams will run up the stairs behind him, find the clue on top of their luggage they brought with them, then take one of the waiting Mercedes-Benz cars to Los Angeles Airport.
One quick aside. The place where the luggage and cars are located? The same place that was used in the season finale of Season 2 of 24 where Jack Bauer and Sherry Palmer had their confrontation with Peter Kingsley. That was when 24 was 24. If it works, I’ll try to work a 24 reference in and it certainly does here.
We continue. Phil says the first team to reach the finish line will win $1 million. The teams get ready. Then we see a very creepy scene of mother Toni kissing her son Dallas on the cheek. Ewwww. Don’t need to see that. And they’re off! Running up the stairs underneath one of the Coliseum’s famous arches to their luggage. The teams rip open their very first clue of the race and they find they are going to Salvador, Brazil.
The teams find that they can go only on one of two flights, an American Airlines flight going through Miami or a United Airlines flight which goes through Chicago. And of course, it all depends on which flight arrives in Salvador first. Teams then pile into their cars and speed off towards the airport. Mother-son team, Toni & Dallas start singing in their car and the race is officially on!
With most teams taking the freeway, dating couple Terence & Sarah take side roads since he grew up in LA and knows his way around town. Frat boys Andrew & Dan surmise that taking the AA flight through Miami will be quicker since it’s closer to South America. Estranged couple Ken & Tina, he formerly of the NFL, she generally pissed off as we’ll find out later instructs her husband to focus and not let anyone pass them. We discover that Ken has cheated on her in the past and while she’s forgiven him, she hasn’t forgotten which means she reminds him of his cheating ways practically 24/7. Long distance couple Aja & Ty take the car pool lane as she thinks it will be quicker.
Brother & sister team Nick & Starr notice Ken & Tina next to them and the siblings call them “mom and dad”. It appears Nick & Starr relate to the estranged couple and while they’re marveling at them, Ken & Tina pass them on the way to the airport. But in the carpool lane, Aja & Ty go ahead and Ken says he won’t let that happen again.
Now it’s time to chronicle some dreaded airport drama. The teams one-by-one quickly arrive and it’s now going to a pile up at the ticket counter to see who can get on the first flight out. Aja & Ty are the first ones to get to the terminal, but they can’t find the flagged ticket counter to get out of town. How many seasons of Amazing Race have there been? Don’t they know the first flight always has a flagged ticket counter??? They go to the back of a long line, but thankfully, Aja is the one thinking for this team and she wants to know where the flag is.
Three more teams, self-proclaimed geeks Mark & Bill, Ken & Tina and hot chicks Kelly & Christy (an early Fang’s Bites fav to win the race) come into the terminal and start looking for the flagged ticket counter. Leave it to Mark & Bill to find it followed by our favorite estranged couple. Of course, Tina scolds Ken, “You gotta stay with me, babe.” Even though Ken has played on the highest levels of the NFL, Tina definitely is wearing the pants in this relationship. And when Tina glares, it’s nothing to scoff at, but of course, nothing compares to the death stare that Jen gave to Nathan last season. And in case you need to be reminded of that infamous death stare, I give it to you once again.
Now that’s a death stare. You can rest assured for as long as I do Amazing Race recaps, I’ll try to work that in. It’s still funny to me almost a year later. And if Tina gets a death stare anywhere close to this, it’ll be posted in future recaps.
We continue. We’re not even halfway through this episode yet. More teams arrive at LAX including mother-son Toni & Dallas and dating couple Anthony & Stephanie. From their intro, Stephanie says she basically wants to get married when the race is over. Anthony looks like he doesn’t want to commit. Yet. We’ll see how this goes. Frat boys Andrew & Dan and Southern Belles Marisa & Brooke (who are decked out in hot pink warmup suits) are next to arrive and again, they can’t find the flagged ticket counter.
Still, Mark & Bill are booked 1st on the American flight. Ken & Tina will be next. Behind them are Terence & Sarah. She wonders where everyone else is. Don’t. You’re in the right area. The others are seemingly lost on a day when it appears everyone is travleing. Finally, Ty is told to go the flagged ticket counter and the other racers who had been stuck in that 7 mile long line quickly follow. Now that everyone is in the proper place, it gives the racers the chance to meet one another and sum up their competition.
As everyone is introducing each other, Ken & Tina are 2nd to book on American. The teams in back of the line begin to count to see if they’ll be able to board this flight. Frat boy Dan who realizes that he may not get on this flight plants a seed that there might be a delay in Miami to which Ty takes minor offense. You can see the look on Nick’s face as he can’t believe there’s conflict already. But if you’ve read my recaps for last season and for this season’s Amazing Race Asia, you’ll know I thrive on conflict in the race. Dan says he’s worked in the tourist industry and he knows something like this could happen with this flight or the United flight. Nick then says to his sister Starr, “He hasn’t worked in customer relations.” I think I’m going to like Nick in this race.
Terence & Sarah are the next to get a confirmed ticket on American. Nick & Starr are 4th to board. As it gets apparent the teams in back aren’t going to get on this flight, beekeepers Anita & Arthur, Marisa & Brooke and Anthony & Stephanie all head to United. Aja & Ty are the 5th team to get on board American. Ty discovers American will get to Brazil three hours ahead of the United flight. Hot chicks Kelly & Christy are also able to get on board American. It’s now getting down to the nitty gritty for this departure.
Frat boys Andrew & Dan step up to the counter and are promptly told the flight is overbooked and they are not going to get on board leaving them and Toni & Dallas to scramble to the United counter. This is what you get, Dan. The racing gods came back and bit you square on the ass. Never talk about delayed flights or try to put the evil kybosh on someone because the racing gods will then put that kybosh on you. Sometimes, the racing gods allow karma to even out and it’s happened quite early in this race.
Airport drama is something I just dread recapping, but in this episode, it establishes the personalities early on, but it gives insight to any backstabbing that could happen down the line.
Before the American flight takes off, Ken & Tina and Nick & Starr agree to form what Starr calls, “a loose alliance” for two legs. Ken thinks an alliance at this point would be beneficial to both teams. We’ll see if this ruffles any feathers down the line.
So the American Airlines flight which will arrive first, carries geeks Mark & Bill, estranged couple Ken & Tina, siblings Nick & Starr, newly dating couple Terence & Sarah, long distance couple Aja & Ty and hot chicks Kelly & Christy. The United flight scheduled to arrive three hours after American carries mother & son Toni & Dallas, frat boys Andrew & Dan, beekeepers Anita & Arthur, Southern belles Marisa & Brooke and dating couple Anthony & Stephanie. Because the show could not get film permits in the connecting cities of Chicago & Miami, the map
bypasses these cities and shows the racers going directly to Brazil from LAX, but thanks to the TAR Detectives at Reality Fan Forum, we know this is not the case.
As we can see, the teams will connect to Salvador from either Rio de Janeiro or São Paulo. When they arrive, they’ll head to a sandwich shop known as O Rei do Pernil where they will get their next clue. However, the American flight which arrives in Rio gets delayed. The first pack is worried that the teams on United could either catch up or even pass them. But this does not happen. The teams on American get to Salvador about an hour and a half later than scheduled according to Mark & Bill. They all pile into taxis. Sarah who speaks pretty good Portuguese uses her language skills to instruct the taxi driver on where
to go. In the meantime, Ken gets scolded by Tina for not properly learning Spanish.
Geeks Mark & Bill arrive first at the sandwich shop and find out they are to become a barista and steer a local vending cart through the narrow streets of Salvador to a popular plaza known as Praça da Sé. Once there, they’ll deliver their cart to Indio who will give them their next clue.
In their rush, Mark & Bill spill their contents, but quickly come up with a plan to cover it with a jacket. Smart! Divorcees and hot chicks Christy & Kelly are worried that their taxi driver may not know where he’s going and for good reason. He’s just driving along and doesn’t seem to know where the sandwich shop is. This is not good.
Dating couple Terence & Sarah are second to O Rei do Pernil and he’s having trouble controlling the cart. Sarah does direct him where to go, but he’s looking for ways to steer the cart. Ken & Tina and Nick & Starr are next and they plunge into the task. Mark & Bill note that the steering the cart is not easy. Terence & Sarah find a woman who tells them to turn their cart around as it’s apparently backwards. No wonder he’s having trouble. And the woman eventually helps them to steer the cart. How nice! But as Sarah is trying to talk, Terence is getting confused and tells her to speak English. The woman who’s helping you speaks Portuguese, Terence. Lighten up! And Ken & Tina and Nick & Starr find that their contents just want to fall to the ground.
Mark & Bill reach a funicular that will take them up a hill and eventually to Praça da Sé. Terence & Sarah catch up to the geeks and they’ll take the funicular with them. Nick & Starr and Ken & Tina are on their way, but Tina scolds Ken for not moving fast enough. We’re finding a theme with the estranged couple.
Back at the sandwich shop, Aja & Ty are about to begin their sojourn with the vending cart. And over to Praça da Sé, Terence & Sarah get out of the funicular first and they reach Indio meaning they’ve passed Mark & Bill to receive the next clue. Sarah reads the clue out loud and discovers that teams are to go to a nearby military base where the teams will spend the night outdoors under mosquito nets.
Once at the base, teams will sign up for one of three departure times the next morning, 9:00, 9:30 or 9:45.
Terence is extremely happy they passed Mark & Bill who get their clue and head to the base just as the newly dating couple is on its way. Ken & Tina are still matriculating their vending cart through Salvador when two boxes of candy fall. She scolds him for not being more careful. At the funicular, the estranged couple are too late to board with Nick & Starr. The siblings sprint to Indio and are the third team to get their clue. He’s happy to be in front of Ken & Tina.
At the military base, Terence & Sarah have arrived and they’re the first to sign up for the 9 a.m. departure. Ken & Tina are the 4th to get their clue from Indio. Mark & Bill are stuck in Salvador traffic on the way to the military base. In the process, Nick & Starr pass them and sign in 2nd for 9 a.m. We see Aja & Ty get their clue from Indio and then, Mark & Bill arrive at the base third and are still able to get on the 9 a.m. exit time.
Back to the 6th team that was on American, hot chicks Christy & Kelly and it appears they’ve reached the wrong sandwich shop in the wrong part of town. And right on cue, here comes the second wave of teams that was on the United flight.
Toni & Dallas, Andrew & Dan, Anita & Arthur, Marisa & Brooke and Anthony & Stephanie get into their respective taxis to find O Rei do Pernil. Anita says “Bees are much calmer than this,” and you have the title of this episode. Frat boys Andrew & Dan manage to get a fast taxi driver who is navigating his way through the Salvador streets quite well. But Kelly & Christy, the last team from the first group of teams to arrive finally get to the sandwich shop and thus, their next clue.
Andrew & Dan are 7th to arrive and they get help from a local woman to steer their vending cart the proper way. Back at the military base, Ken & Tina get the 4th and last spot in the 9 a.m. departure group. For the first time, Tina is not scolding Ken.
The married beekeepers get to O Rei do Pernil passing Toni & Dallas who were stuck in traffic and they’re navigating their cart with a bit of difficulty, but seemingly ok.
Aja & Ty are 5th at the military base, but are too late to get on the 9 a.m. departure, so they have to settle for 9:30. Kelly & Christy get on the funicular just ahead of frat boys Andrew & Dan to go to Praça da Sé.
Back at the sandwich shop, the last three teams, Toni & Dallas, Marisa & Brooke and Anthony & Stephanie rip open their clue and take a vending machine. Kelly & Christy find Indio and grab a cab for the military base quickly followed by the frats. Anita & Arthur have made it to Praça da Sé and get their clue. Toni & Dallas are 9th at Praça da Sé and they plug ahead to the base. The last two teams, Anthony & Stephanie and Marisa & Brooke finally get their clues and bring up the rear.
At the military base, Kelly & Christy are the last of the first group to sign up and they’ll be in the 9:30 departure. They’re not happy about their position knowing their driver got lost on the way to the sandwich.
However, contrary to the hot chicks, frat boys Andrew & Dan are estatic to be in the position they’re in, 7th and also in the 9:30 departure group, meaning that they’re the first team of the second wave of teams in Brazil to arrive at the base.
And quickly, the next teams arriving at the base are Anita & Arthur, Toni & Dallas, Anthony & Stephanie and Marisa & Brooke will all be d
eparting at 9:45 a.m. meaning the last team out of this group could be eliminated if they’re not careful.
Now inside the base, the teams are mingling and further getting to know each other better. Starr spends some time flirting with Dallas saying straight out that he’s the most attractive man on the race. Then there’s Terence. He’s jealous that Sarah is mingling with the other teams. She’s a very lovely woman and seems to be quite independent minded. He, on the other hand, is a very clingy woman wanting Sarah to hold him, to brush his hair and pick bugs from his back. Come on, guy! Be a man! And you can see from this screengrab that she can’t believe that he’s acting this way.
The next morning, the aforementioned clingy Terence & Sarah, Ken & the always scolding Tina, Mark & Bill and Nick & Starr will be leaving the base at 9. A half hour later, hot chicks Kelly & Christy, Aja & Ty and Andrew & Dan will leave. Then at 9:45 a.m., Toni & Dallas, Anita & Arthur, Marisa & Brooke and Anthony & Stephanie will be the last to leave the base.
The first group gets their next clue and they find they’ll have to take a taxi to Pelourinho, the historic center of Salvador. Once there, they’ll have to find a church where they’ll find their next clue.
The four teams have a bit of difficulty finding a cab. Terence & Sarah get one and with her Portuguese, is able to tell the driver where to go. Nick & Starr get a driver who doesn’t speak English. Tina yells at Ken to use his whistle to get a cab (oh my goodness, what is it with whistles in this season and in the Asian edition?). Mark & Bill get a cab while the siblings’ cab is not moving. All four teams now are heading toward Pelourinho. Sarah who tried to talk to Nick & Starr says she won’t be so nice from now on. Terence who was clingy the night before says he doesn’t need friends. But apparently he needs someone to hold him and pick bugs off his back. You can’t have it both ways, Terence! Do you want to be a man or are you a clingy woman? It’s one or the other.
At 9:30, hot divorcees Kelly & Christy are the first to grab a cab, followed by the frats then Aja & Ty. Fifteen minutes later, the final group of four teams, Toni & Dallas, Anita & Arthur, Marisa & Brooke and Anthony & Stephanie are out to get their taxis.
At the church in Pelourinho, Terence & Sarah run to find the clue. In the midst of his complaining that she’s outrunning him, Terence & Sarah fail to see the clue box standing outside and proceed to go inside the church. Mark & Bill and Nick & Starr also run past the clue box, but as they all pile out of from inside the church, they see the red and yellow flag. As Sarah discovers, it’s a Detour.
Since Phil no longers says it, I will so please, let’s all say it together. A Detour is a choice between two tasks each with its pros and cons. In this Detour, teams will have their choice of two difficult ways of getting where they’re going. The choices? Hard Way Up or Soft Way Down.
In Hard Way Up, teams must make their way to the stairway known as Escardaria Do Passo. Knowing they’ll be asked a mystery questions, teams must make a spiritual pledge as the locals do, by climbing the entire stone staircase on their hands and knees. When they get to the top of the stairs, they’ll be asked a question by a samba drum leader (how many steps did they climb) and if they answer correctly, they’ll receive their next clue. If they’re wrong, they’ll have to try again and go all the way back down to the bottom walking around the city streets and climb the stairs anew.
In Soft Way Down, teams make their way to an outdoor elevator, known as Elevador Laserda. Then, they must climb down a precarious cargo net to the street some 240 feet below. Only three teams can be on the cargo net at a time.
Terence & Sarah choose cargo net as do Nick & Starr and Mark & Bill. Right on their heels are Ken & Tina. They choose Soft Way Down as well.
Terence & Sarah sprint to Elevador Laserda with Nick & Starr closely behind. The siblings once inside realize they’re supposed to take the service stairs through a marked door while Terence & Sarah mistakenly take an elevator. Nick & Starr reach the top first and they’ll scale down the cargo net.
Starr is a bit afraid, but Nick gives her some good brotherly advice not to look up or look down. In the observatory inside the elevator, Terence & Sarah are looking around, but she’s not feeling good about their choice. Ken & Tina have arrived at the elevator and find the flags to get to the top.
They start to go down and as Ken tells Tina to go quickly so they can catch up to Nick & Starr, but she scolds him yet again saying she’s afraid of heights and instructs him to shut up. Mark & Bill are awaiting their turn to go down. Finally, Terence & Sarah find the marked door and head on up.
Nick & Starr finish their climb down and find out their next destination is the pit stop, Forte São Marcelo. The fort once defended the city from pirates. Forte São Marcelo is the first pit stop for this leg of the race. And the last team to check in, will be eliminated.
Starr suggests to take a cab, but Nick correctly surmises that they won’t have to. Ken & Tina are next to finish and mistakenly take a cab. In the meantime, Nick & Starr have left Ken & Tina behind and find some natives to point them to Forte São Marcelo. Ken & Tina’s taxi driver points to Forte São Marcelo and while the siblings get into a boat to get to the fort, Ken & Tina realize they’ll be at mat in second.
At the cargo net, Mark & Bill are tired and take a break allowing Terence & Sarah to pass them. Sarah tries to talk to them, but Terence scolds her and tells her she can’t talk and climb at the same time while he can. Oh, so now he’s the leader of their team when the night before, Terence needed someone to hold him and pick bugs off his back. I just shake my head.
Over to Nick & Starr who have now made it to the fort and notice a boy to Phil’s left juggling melons. They’re checked in as team number one and thanks to (dreaded product placement ahead) Travelocity, they’ve each won a trip to Belize.
Meanwhile, their rivals, Terence & Sarah have made it to the ground and they start heading for the fort. Mark & Bill are next having finished the Detour. And at the mat, Ken & Tina have made it in 2nd place.
Back at the church in Pelourinho, a whole host of teams, Toni & Dallas, Aja & Ty and Marisa & Brooke all get their clue and choose the cargo net. Andrew & Dan’s taxi driver is driving around in circles. When they get dropped off, they see the other teams running from the church so they know they’re in trouble. Because of the number of teams choosing cargo net, they go for the stairs. Not a bad choice at this juncture.
At Elevador Leserda, hot chicks Kelly & Christy are making their way down. To Forte São Marcelo where Terence & Sarah give each other a kiss for finishing third.
Back at the church, the last two teams, Anthony & Stephanie and Anita & Arthur choose Soft Way Down.
As Kelly & Christy are halfway down the net, mother and son team, Toni & Dallas start their descent.
Over to Escardaria do Passo, frat boys Andrew & Dan start their ascent up the stairs without stopping. Did you bother to count, boys?
Mark & Bill have made it to the mat at Forte São Marcelo in 4th and safe for another leg. At the cargo net, Spiderwomen Kelly & Christy have just about finished with Toni & Dallas close behind. Aja is at the top awed or scared by what she has to do. The hot chicks get their clue and head to the pit stop. Marisa & Brooke are preparing to climb down and Marisa says she can’t enjoy the view because she’s about to pee her pants. Funny line. Toni & Dallas have finished the climb and are 6th to get their clue.
The frats have finished their climb up the stairs, they’re asked how many stairs are there. Of course, they didn’t count, so they have to walk around the church, down a hill and climb back up again.
So they start climbing and counting. It’s going to take a while. We’ll get back to Andrew & Dan later.
Over to Forte São Marcelo, the lovely Kelly & Christy have made it to the mat and Phil checks them in at 5th place, a very strong finish.
To Elevador Lacerda, Aja & Ty, Marisa & Brooke and Anthony & Stephanie are all slowly making their way down to the street below. Anita & Arthur are last to the elevator and it’s going to be difficult for them to make up time as the others are almost done. Toni & Dallas are firmly in 6th place. Aja & Ty have finished their climb down and are heading to Forte São Marcelo.
Anita & Arthur start down and it’s going to take a while for them. Marisa & Brooke are now finished and they can walk to the pit stop. Anthony & Stephanie have also made it down and they and the Southern Belles decide to go to Forte São Marcelo together.
Back to the frats, Andrew & Dan, they’ve finally reached the top and when they’re asked the number of steps, they correctly answer 53 and they can now leave for Forte São Marcelo.
The married beekeepers have now finished their climb down. But can they make it to the pit stop in time? Even with their drama at the steps, frat boys Andrew & Dan make it to the pit stop in 7th. Aja & Ty are next in 8th. Anthony & Stephanie make it to the mat in 9th. Southern Belles Marisa & Brooke stop to throw up and they are checked in 10th place.
And finally in 11th and last place are married beekeepers Anita & Arthur and thus eliminated. So sad, but they were just stuck behind the 8 ball once they got their clue at the church and the cargo net didn’t allow them to make up any time on the other teams. I would have loved to see more of them, but there’s always Elimination Station.
Our official order of finish:
1. Nick & Starr – winners of a trip to Belize from Travelocity.
2. Ken & Tina
3. Terence & Sarah
4. Mark & Bill
5. Kelly & Christy
6. Toni & Dallas
7. Andrew & Dan
8. Aja & Ty
9. Anthony & Stephanie
10. Marisa & Brooke
11. Anita & Arthur – eliminated
In the next episode, an alliance begins to ruffle feathers. See you then.
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