Wednesday's Press Releases For You To Read, Part I

Because I got home late from the Ted Williams documentary screening to discover that my house had been flooded thanks to Rhode Island’s monsoon season, I could not post the press releases that I received yesterday. I have a lot of releases and I need to post them. This is part 1. An ESPN-centric press release post comes up shortly.

NBC Sports has its tennis crew talk about the 30th Anniversary of “Breakfast at Wimbledon”.

30th ANNIVERSARY OF “BREAKFAST AT WIMBLEDON” HIGHLIGHTS NBC SPORTS COVERAGE

“His achievement is even more difficult than what Tiger Woods pulled off.” – NBC’s McEnroe on Federer’s 14 Grand Slam titles

“Nobody looks better than Serena, not even her big sister.” – NBC’s Carillo

NEW YORK – July 1, 2009 – The 30th anniversary of "Breakfast at Wimbledon," one of the great traditions in sports, highlights NBC Sports extensive coverage of The Championships, Wimbledon which continues all this week. In all, the network is presenting high definition coverage of more than 38 hours from Wimbledon concluding with live coverage of "Breakfast at Wimbledon," the Ladies' Final Saturday at 9 a.m. ET and the Gentlemen's Final July 5 at 9 a.m. ET.

For NBC Sports, this is the 30th anniversary of "Breakfast at Wimbledon" and the 40th anniversary of NBC's Wimbledon coverage from the prestigious grass courts at the All England Lawn Tennis Club.

Host Ted Robinson anchors NBC Sports coverage from Wimbledon, joined by three-time Wimbledon champion John McEnroe and Mary Carillo, with interviews and essays from Jimmy Roberts.

NBC Sports conducted a media teleconference with McEnroe, Carillo, Robinson to preview its coverage of the tournament, joined by associate producer Bob Basche, who coined the term "Breakfast at Wimbledon." Highlights of the call follow:

JOHN MCENROE ON ROGER FEDERER'S PLACE IN HISTORY: "That's one of those questions there's no answer to. It's just a matter of opinion and lots of people have different opinions. Rod Laver was my idol and he won two grand slams. So it would be hard to say anyone is better than that because I don't think you will see guys even win one grand slam. Roger has won on all surfaces. I think Pete Sampras may be a better fast court player than Roger Federer, but all around I think Roger is the greatest player I have ever seen."

JOHN MCENROE ON ROGER FEDERER AND TIGER WOODS: "The thing that Roger has done getting to twenty grand slam tournaments in a row is like Joe DiMaggio. I'm biased as a tennis player but I think his achievement is even more difficult than what Tiger Woods pulled off. He's running and he's playing on different surfaces. Doesn't Tiger only have to play on grass? But Tiger is magnificent, obviously. Even though I think they have inspired each other, ultimately they are looking at their own sport and I think it has been helpful for both of them that they have had this friendly rivalry from a distance and developed a friendship. I know Roger is a class act and I've met Tiger a few times and he seems like the same way. So it ends up impacting both sports."

JOHN MCENROE ON ANDY RODDICK AND ANDY MURRAY: "As much as we'd love to see Roddick win that second major and at least make a real run as an American it would be quite exciting for the sport of tennis if Andy Murray was able to get to a grand slam final like he did at the U.S. Open. That would really be quite the match-up if he were to play Roger in the finals."

MARY CARILLO ON THE WILLIAMS SISTERS: "They have played each other twenty times and they are locked at ten a piece, so that just shows what it's like. Venus got the better of Serena in last year's Final here but then Serena got Venus in the U.S. Open. Venus is the best grass court champion of this generation including her sister, but to me nobody looks better than Serena, not even her big sister. So I'd be a little surprised if somebody can take this title from Serena."

MARY CARILLO ON SERENA WILLIAMS: "I love the way Serena has been playing lately, fairly late in her career, she kind of just relaxed and kicked back. I don't think she has ever been more dedicated or more focused. When she won her tenth major this year in Australia, she realized she is capable of being one of the all time greats and in the same conversation with the best women's tennis players that we have ever seen. She is taking it very seriously and she's my pick, for sure she is my pick."

TED ROBINSON ON THE ROOF: "It's the year the roof. I couldn't help but think when the roof closed yesterday for the first time during play that all during the classic final last year, especially in the fifth set, it was impossible to not every so often have to take your eyes off this classic match to glance up to the sky and ask, 'are we going to be able to play? Is it going to rain again? Is it going to get too dark? Is this match actually going to have to come back and finish on Monday?' What the roof does is make sure none of that is ever a factor again in a championship match.

"When the All England Club does something, they do it well and they do it right. Imagine trying to put a roof over Wrigley Field or Fenway Park and that's what it's like trying to cover Centre Court. It's a smaller piece of real estate, but the fact that they put this modern structure on without compromising it at all or altering the character of this traditional venue, I think the club did a great job."

TED ROBINSON, MARY CARILLO AND JOHN MCENROE TALK ABOUT THEIR BROADCAST PARTNERSHIP:

TED ROBINSON: "I came to my first ever tennis major event in 1987 and Mary was my partner in the U.S. Open. I was a complete knucklehead who was a young baseball guy and got thrust into a different world, and Mary was fabulous in walking me though it. Mary was instrumental in breaking me in for my first ever major. Then John retired from playing and NBC put us together, three people from New York who are all left-handed, so there's probably a little bit of abhorrent behavior responsible for that there. The great thing about John and Mary is that they are not only professional tennis players and John was a champion, but they are very good broadcasters and that's what makes a difference. In working with a lot of analysts in different sports, when you get somebody who understands broadcasting and are tremendous broadcasters, it just makes it so simple."

MARY CARILLO: "I am just going to speak on behalf of Ted. There is no one better to sit next to. That booth, the three of us next to each other, to me is a very special combination. There is a certain relaxed attitude. We all know what we are trying to do and what we like to do with our broadcast. Our producer and director follow what we are saying and we try to follow what they are doing as well. I think there is a nice sound that comes out of that booth and there's a lot of respect and friendship there."

JOHN MCENROE: "Ted was the first guy who ever listened to me when I started doing commentary. Most of the guys would be doing their own thing and he'd actually respond to what I'd say and that made it all much more fun. I am a little biased here, but I think we ma ke a great team. Mary and I go way back as kids and we have such a history already. We played mixed doubles together so there's something special, a synergy that will always be there. She is great at telling stories and has a little bit different way of approaching it than I do it. She comes so well prepared. Hopefully I add a level of expertise, having been out there and get a sense of what the two players are trying to accomplish. Ted knows when to let us do our thing. It's really worked into a beautiful thing."

30TH ANNIVERSARY OF BREAKFAST AT WIMBLEDON:
The year was 1979 and Chet Simmons the president of NBC Sports and Don Ohlmeyer the executive producer of NBC Sports persuaded the network to give up its Saturday morning children's programming block in order to present the Gentleman's Finals from Wimbledon live to the U.S. Simmons and Ohlmeyer saw this as an opportunity to take advantage of the growing popularity of the sport with the emergence of superstars like John McEnroe, Jimmy Connors and Bjorn Borg.

During a seminar in Florida a few months before Wimbledon, the production team gathered to discuss how to take advantage of this new development. In the course of the conversation about the idea of watching a major sporting event at 9 a.m. on a Sunday morning, Bob Basche, an associate producer suggested that it would be like having "Breakfast at Wimbledon." The rest, as they say, is history.

Roscoe Tanner had upset Connors on the way to the final and was set to take on Borg in the first "Breakfast at Wimbledon." But there was one large wrench thrown into the plans. The organizers at Wimbledon insisted that the players walk onto the court at 8:50 a.m. ET and the first serve be at exactly 9 a.m. ET. With the broadcast scheduled to begin at 9 a.m. ET this would not allow the viewers to see the walk-on or, likely, the first serve. Enter NBC Sports' secret weapon, analyst Donald Dell. In addition to being an analyst on the broadcast, Dell was a very powerful player agent who happened to represent Tanner. Dell came up with a scenario in which he persuaded Tanner to delay in the locker room with a "bathroom emergency." Tanner did not exit the locker room until just after 9 a.m. ET and NBC Sports got both players coming onto the court. What ensued was a five set match that Borg won in just over three hours.

Breakfast at Wimbledon was then cemented in history the following year by the legendary "Battle of 18-16," the epic tiebreaker between Borg and McEnroe. Historic championship matches followed with teenager Boris Becker becoming the youngest-ever winner of the Gentleman's singles title in 1985 at the age of 17, the Williams sisters riveting the crowd with their athleticism, and of course Pete Sampras' record run of Wimbledon crowns. And last year, Wimbledon showcased the classic match between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal that McEnroe coined "the greatest match we've ever seen." That epic five-setter started as "Breakfast at Wimbledon" and concluded near dinnertime in the States, drawing the best audience in 17 years.

BOB BASCHE ON BREAKFAST AT WIMBLEDON: "I guess I am the old guy right? When I came to NBC Sports, hired by Don Ohlmeyer, the tournament wasn't televised live and with all of the interest in tennis with McEnroe and Borg and Connors and Chris and Martina, Don was able to persuade the network to give up its morning children's show block to do the first ever live telecast in 1979. During a production meeting we had on how we would do things differently, I mentioned that in New York and the East coast it would be 9 a.m. so it will be 'Breakfast at Wimbledon.' And everyone kind of stopped in the conference room and everyone looked around and they said, 'oh my god breakfast at Wimbledon,' and that's sort of how the term came about."

BOB BASCHE RECOUNTS HOLDING TANNER: "Don (Ohlmeyer) was flabbergasted that the club wouldn't give us two to three, three and a half minutes to get on air before the players walked on, which is a very dramatic moment. The club said absolutely not. It's tradition that the players walk on at 1:50 p.m. GMT and the ball is in the air at 2 p.m. We went back and forth during that second week and the club was not giving in. During one of our talent sessions Donald Dell, who represented Roscoe Tanner, said he might have a solution and he asked Roscoe if could delay in the locker room claiming a bathroom break. He didn't walk out until 2:02 or 2:03. So Roscoe went along with it in the stall and came out and walked out on cue after the opening and everything was great."

MARY CARILLO ON HER MEMORIES OF 1979: "Live always matters me to me. I remember that morning well. It makes a big big difference watching stuff live. I remember being very affected by it. Those are moments that you just remember when it's right there in front of you and you don't know what's going to happen. There's nothing better."

SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS PREEMPTED BY "BREAKFAST AT WIMBLEDON" IN 1979:
  • Yogi's Space Race
  • Godzilla Power Hour
  • The New Fred and Barney Show
  • Krofft Superstar Hour
  • Fabulous Funnies
  • Baggy Pants and Nitwits
LIVE AT WIMBLEDON: NBCSports.com is your online companion for NBC Sports coverage of Wimbledon. Live at Wimbledon a joint venture of NBC Sports and the All England Lawn Tennis Club and powered by Microsoft Silverlight will offer live streaming of up to four concurrent courts, on-demand replays of the best matches from every day of The Championships, alternate camera angles for NBC Sports semifinal and final match coverage, daily video highlights, and Golden Moments from the Wimbledon archive.

Live at Wimbledon is available throughout The Championships, Wimbledon with on-demand coverage concluding with the Ladies' Final on Saturday, July 4 at 9 a.m. ET and the Gentlemen's Final on Sunday, July 5 at 9 a.m. ET.

WIMBLEDON ON NBC SPORTS MOBILE: Again this year, NBC Sports provides live mobile coverage of The Championships, Wimbledon. Throughout the championships, tennis fans can watch NBC's coverage on either NBC 2Go or NBC Sports Mobile, including live coverage of every exciting point of the Gentlemen's and Ladies' Finals. Plus, tennis fans will be able to get news and scores right on their cell phones with the NBC Sports Mobile Web site or exclusive text alerts; users can just text the word TENNIS to 51515 or visit http://mobile.nbcsports.com.

NBC Sports' Remaining Wimbledon Broadcast Schedule

Friday, July 3 - Noon- 5 p.m. all time zones, Gentlemen's Semifinals, (same day tape)

Friday, July 3 - 11:35 p.m.-12:05 a.m. ET/PT, Wimbledon Update

Saturday, July 4 - 9 a.m.-2 p.m. ET, "Breakfast at Wimbledon"
(live), Ladies' Final

Sunday, July 5 - 9 a.m.-3 p.m. ET, "Breakfast at Wimbledon",(live), Gentlemen's Final

*All telecasts are subject to change due to rain delays.

NBC Sports reunites the great volleyball announcing team of Chris Marlowe and Paul Sunderland for this weekend’s AVP tour stop.

Universal Sports To Broadcast Semifinals Live

“We’re like oil and water. Different in style, different in opinion.”- NBC’s Sunderland
NEW YORK- July 1, 2009- Fourth of July weekend is highlighted by the reunion of two of volleyball's broadcasting powerhouses, Chris Marlowe and Paul Sunderland. Marlowe and Sunderland first called volleyball games together in 1985 and are together again for the first time in a decade this weekend at the AVP Coney Island Open in Brooklyn, N.Y. NBC Sports will present live high-definition coverage of the women's final on Saturday and the men's final on Sunday beginning at 4:30 p.m. ET. Universal Sports will provide live coverage of women's semifinal round on Saturday and the men's semifinal round on Sunday at 2 p.m. ET.

Marlowe and Sunderland first met playing volleyball on the beaches of Santa Monica in the early 1970's. In 1975, the two first played together on the U.S. National Indoor Volleyball Team and in 1984 won the Olympic gold medal in Los Angeles. In 1985, Marlowe and Sunderland called their first match together between San Diego State and Pepperdine. They made their Olympic debut as a broadcasting duo at the Summer Olympics in Barcelona and then teamed up again in Atlanta and Sydney.

COVERAGE ON UNIVERSAL SPORTS:
Universal Sports will broadcast 12 hours of live semifinal coverage for events in Coney Island, Hermosa Beach and the Cup Championship in Chicago and will re-air all 12 hours of the finals after the live broadcast on NBC. UniversalSports.com will also live stream each semifinal event with on-demand video of the semifinals and finals available online for two weeks after each competition.

This weekend's coverage highlights the surging top men's team Sean Scott and John Hyden and Olympian Kevin Wong and partner Matt Olson as they battle it out on the men's side, while the surprise story of the summer Brooke Hanson and Lisa Rutledge look for their first championship win with Olympians Jenny Johnson Jordan and Annett Davis on their heels.

ALLI AMA MOTOCROSS, SATURDAY, 3:30 PM ET
NBC Sports presents live coverage of the ALLI AMA Motocross from 3:30 p.m. ET. The coverage features the sixth stop of the Lucas Oil AMA Pro Motocross Championship from the Redbud stadium in Buchanan, Michigan.

The 450 Class Motocross race will be the spotlight of NBC's coverage where top competitors Tommy Hahn, Ivan Tedesco, and Andrew Short look to take the 2009 title.

Commentary provided by David Bailey, Jamie Bestwick, and Tiffany Simons.

HY-VEE TRIATHALON, SUNDAY, 3 PM ET
NBC presents coverage of the 2009 Hy-Vee Triathlon this Sunday at 3 p.m. ET from Des Moines, Iowa.

Elite women Emma Moffatt and Emma Snowsill (Australia) along with Lauren Groves (Canada) lead the competition for the women. Simon Whitfield (Canada) and Brad Kahlefeldt (Australia) lead the competition for the men. The elite team competition will be a competitive and close race between teams Switzerland, Canada, Australia and United States.

Jim Kozimor and Siri Lindley will provide commentary.

TNT without Bill Weber moves to Daytona for the traditional July 4th weekend NASCAR race.

TNT Revs Up Its Innovative Wide Open Coverage for the Coke Zero 400 at Daytona

Coverage features 10 sponsors integrated throughout the telecast

TNT’s groundbreaking Wide Open Coverage will return for the third consecutive year during the network’s exclusive coverage of the primetime Coke Zero 400 at Daytona on Saturday, July 4th. The format provides continuous race coverage free of national commercial breaks and features 22% more unobstructed race action than that of a standard telecast by using a letterbox widescreen format. In place of the national ads, the telecast features a variety of animated sponsor messages, unique branded content and distinct on-screen graphic elements. Wide Open Coverage debuted on TNT during the 2007 Daytona 400 race and continued in 2008 during the Coke Zero 400 at Daytona; the two races resulted in only 12 missed laps of green flag racing.

The ten national sponsors, which matches the last two years sponsorship commitment, featured in this year’s innovative telecast include Coke Zero, US Army, Sprint, Toyota, Coors Light, Viagra, Goodyear, Burger King, Subway and the Weinstein Company (movie Inglourious Basterds).

TNT will air the Coke Zero 400 at Daytona beginning at 8 p.m. ET with play-by-play announcer Ralph Sheheen calling the race alongside analysts Kyle Petty and Wally Dallenbach in the booth. In addition, analyst Larry McReynolds will make frequent contributions from the in-field as he breaks down crew strategy and analyzes car adjustments.

The network will rev up its pre-race coverage beginning at 6:30 p.m. ET with NASCAR on TNT Live! with Marc Fein (host), Petty and McReynolds. No. 14 Tony Stewart will join TNT’s infield rig for an interview prior to the race. Stewart won his first race as an owner/driver during TNT’s coverage of the Pocono 500. Also, legendary driver and owner Richard Petty will stop by the set as well.

TNT’s acclaimed Pride of NASCAR series will feature the legendary owner Junie Donlavey who was a NASCAR owner for more than 50 years. Donlavey is best known for giving young drivers their first chance in NASCAR, with more than 70 drivers race in his car throughout his career. Donlavey still lives and works in his Richmond, Va. shop that he started in 1950.

Lindsay on Location continues this week as TNT pit reporter Lindsay Czarniak takes a tour of No. 42 Juan Montoya’s impressive warehouse in Miami that includes past race cars, trophies, a rock climbing wall and jet skis.

Grammy-nominated rockers Buckcherry will perform prior to the race at Daytona, with TNT airing live footage. Buckcherry’s version of Deep Purple’s hit single “Highway Star” is the network’s theme song for its 2009 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series coverage.

NASCAR on TNT Live! will be followed by Countdown to Green at 7:30 p.m. ET with Fein (host), Dallenbach (analyst) and Petty (analyst) with reports from pit reporters Marty Snider, Matt Yocum, Adam Alexander and Czarniak.

During Countdown to Green, Dallenbach will once again break down race strategy during Wally’s World, as he is superimposed into live race footage from last season’s race at Daytona International Speedway. He will virtually walk along the road course to discuss its nuances, with the ability to stop the race footage.

Dallenbach will also spend time with No. 5 Mark Martin to talk about how, at the age of 50, Martin stays so young. Dallenbach will take viewers behind the scenes to check out Martin’s workouts that keep him in shape and competitive on the race track.

Snider will go from the asphalt of the racetrack to the hardwood of the basketball court with a feature on No. 11 Denny Hamlin’s love for the game of basketball.

Countdown to Green leads into coverage of Coke Zero 400 at Daytona at 8 p.m. ET with Sheheen, Dallenbach and Petty calling the action with frequent interaction with McReynolds (analyst) who will man the TNT Offtrack Robotic Car.

Throughout this year’s NASCAR on TNT Summer Series, the network will join forces with NASCAR.COM, the official site of NASCAR, to provide TNT RaceBuddy a multiplatform experience for race fans which features live feeds from the racetrack including pit road and in-car cameras, as well as live chats and polls.

REMAINING 2009 NASCAR ON TNT SCHEDULE:

(All times ET)

SATURDAY, JULY 4

6:30 – 7:30 p.m. NASCAR on TNT Live!

7:30 – 8:00 p.m. Countdown to Green

8:00 – 11:15 p.m. Coke Zero 400 at Daytona

SATURDAY, JULY 11

6:30 – 7:30 p.m. NASCAR on TNT Live!

7:30 – 8:00 p.m. Countdown to Green

8:00 – 11:30 p.m. NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Racing from Chicago (from Chicago Speedway)

Back to tennis, CBS Sports announces that Jim Courier will join its US Open announcing team replacing Patrick McEnroe.

JIM COURIER JOINS CBS SPORTS AS ANALYST FOR CBS TELEVISION NETWORK’S COVERAGE OF 2009 U.S. OPEN TENNIS CHAMPIONSHIPS

International Tennis Hall of Fame member Jim Courier will join CBS Sports as an analyst for the CBS Television Network’s coverage of the 2009 U.S. Open Tennis Championships.

Courier, who was inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame in 2005, began his television career in 2000 as an analyst for TNT and CNN/Sports Illustrated’s coverage of the Wimbledon Championships. He joined USA Sports in 2002 as an analyst for the U.S. Open Tennis Championships and served in that capacity until 2008. Since 2005, Courier has served as an analyst for Channel 7 Australia’s coverage of the Australian Open. He served as an analyst for NBC Sports’ coverage of the 2004 Summer Olympic Games in Athens, Greece.

Courier turned professional in 1988 and made his Grand Slam breakthrough in 1991 when he won the French Open singles title, defeating Andre Agassi in five sets. He also reached the final of the U.S. Open that year, where he lost to Stefan Edberg. He won the Australian Open and the French Open in 1992 and ended that season as the World’s No. 1-ranked player. Courier won his fourth and final major championship at the 1993 Australian Open, and also was runner-up at the 1993 Wimbledon Championships.

Courier captured a total of 23 singles titles and six doubles titles during his career. He spent a total of 58 weeks ranked as the World No. 1 in 1992 and 1993 and reached the finals of all four major championships during his career. Courier was a member of the 1992 Davis Cup-winning United States team and holds the distinction of being the only American since Davis Cup competition began in 1990 to win two five-set, fifth and decisive matches.

In 2004, he co-founded InsideOut Sports & Entertainment, a New York City-based sports events company. He also co-founded Courier’s Kids, a non-profit organization that supports after school tennis and education programs.

Courier was born on August 17, 1970 in Sanford, Fla. He currently competes on the Outback Champions Series, finishing No. 1 in the year-end rankings on the circuit in 2006 and 2008, and in various charity exhibition matches.

Staying with CBS Sports, it continues its PGA Tour coverage with the AT&T National hosted by Tiger Woods.

TIGER WOODS HOSTS AND COMPETES THIS WEEK IN “AT&T NATIONAL” AT FAMED CONGRESSIONAL COUNTRY CLUB JULY 4-5 ON CBS SPORTS

The world’s No. 1-ranked player Tiger Woods hosts and competes this week in year three of the PGA TOUR’s AT&T NATIONAL. CBS Sports broadcasts third- and final-round coverage of the AT&T National from the famed Congressional Country Club’s Blue Course in Bethesda, Md., on Saturday, July 4 (3:00-6:00 PM, ET) and Sunday, July 5 (3:00-6:30 PM, ET), live on the CBS Television Network.

Jim Nantz, the 2008 Emmy Award Winner for “Outstanding Sports Personality – Play-by-Play” and 2008 National Sportscaster of the Year, serves as anchor of CBS Sports’ golf coverage. Sir Nick Faldo, winner of six major championships and more than 40 tournaments worldwide, serves as lead analyst. Ian Baker-Finch calls the action at the 17th hole, Gary McCord at the 16th hole and Peter Kostis at the 15th hole. David Feherty and Bobby Clampett serve as on-course reporters.

Woods returns this year to play is this Tournament after missing last year due to knee surgery. He joins Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer as the only players to have hosted and competed in an official PGA TOUR event in the same week. Woods tied for sixth in the 2007 AT&T National.

Defending champion Anthony Kim returns to take on an impressive field of the world’s top-ranked players: Woods, Paul Casey, Jim Furyk, Vijay Singh, Sean O’Hair, Lucas Glover, K.J. Choi, Mike Weir, Davis Love III, Fred Couples, Rocco Mediate, Nick Watney, Justin Rose, Robert Allenby, Ricky Barnes, Paul Goydos, Hunter Mahan, Brandt Snedeker, Corey Pavin, Tim Herron, Boo Weekley and former University of Maryland coach Fred Funk. Funk, a gallery favorite, played his first ever PGA TOUR event at Congressional in 1982.

The AT&T National will benefit the Tiger Woods Foundation and pay tribute to the men and women in the U.S. Armed Forces. In cooperation with the Pentagon’s Army ITT office, The Foundation will once again distribute free tickets to military personnel this week at the AT&T tournament.

Lance Barrow is Coordinating Producer and Steve Milton is Director of CBS Sports’ golf coverage. Harold Bryant is Vice President, Production, CBS Sports.

That concludes part 1. Part 2 is coming up shortly.

About Ken Fang

Ken has been covering the sports media in earnest at his own site, Fang's Bites since May 2007 and at Awful Announcing since March 2013. He provides a unique perspective having been an award-winning radio news reporter in Providence and having worked in local television. Fang celebrates the three Boston Red Sox World Championships in the 21st Century, but continues to be a long-suffering Cleveland Browns fan.

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