A Sports Media Festivus For The Rest of Us

Yes, we all know the classic Seinfeld episode, “The Strike” which introduced the holiday of Festivus. As this is December 23, it’s the day to celebrate Festivus and what better way to do so by taking out the proverbial Festivus Pole and start the Airing of Grievances. Since I’m writing a passage here, I really can’t do the Feats of Strength, but maybe you can consider the typing of this post as a Feat.

And now, I’ll air grievances and complaints about sports TV and radio. It’s Festivus!

I have plenty of grievances and I’ll start with the obvious choice, ESPN

  • The Decision: What was that? That was a waste of 73 minutes that I’ll never get back.  The program was a study in ego stroking of one LeBron James. Let’s never have that again.
  • Jon Gruden: Last season, he was refreshing. This season, he’s relying on “This guy/That guy/Those guys/This team/This Brett Favre” way too much. Because of “This guy”, I began a game on Twitter betting on when he’ll do the first mention of “This guy.”
  • SportsCenter. There are too many editions now. You can see it in the morning, you can watch SportsCenter in the afternoon. It’s airing in the early evening to late at night. Why not rebrand ESPNews and just call it SportsCenter?
  • JP Dellacamera: You’ve abused this man to the point where he didn’t call a World Cup match on TV this year? He was loyal to you and did everything you asked including call the World Cup on radio, but not on TV? I liked Ian Darke and Derek Rae, but the least you could have done was allow JP to call one or two matches on the Mothership. And he didn’t even get to call the MLS Cup this year. For shame.

On to other subjects:

  • Sunday NFL pregame shows: These have become yukfests, yellfests and all-around messes. Time for a revamping of the format.
  • Brett Favre: Retire. Now. Before the season ends. Talk to ESPN’s Ed Werder one more time so he can get his scoop and you’re free to go.
  • NFL and NBA: Both of you are talking lockout. This will cut off your proverbial noses to spite your faces. Not a good idea. You’re both getting record TV ratings this season. A lockout will kill any goodwill you have with the fans. Think of your consumer base. Think of someone else for a change.
  • PGA Tour: Drop your FedEx Cup or whatever you call your “playoffs”. No one gets it or cares. And it hasn’t caught on.
  • DirecTV: Stop dropping channels I watch. I’ve lost G4 already and now Golf Channel could be next? What happened to the customer is always right?
  • Comcast: Allow SportsNet Philadelphia and SportsNet Northwest on DirecTV and Dish Network please.
  • NBC Sports: Stop preventing us from watching the Olympics. Allow us to watch events live online and tape delay whatever you want. Holding events for later viewing is obsolete now.
  • Fox Sports: Don’t play music during live action. I know you’re experimenting with this as a possibility for the Super Bowl in February. Don’t do it.
  • Sports Radio Hosts: Your shows aren’t about stroking your ego. Your job is to get calls. When you get them, don’t ridicule the callers and cut them off. You want conversation? Try listening every once in a while.
  • NHL Network: Show both ends of the Hockey Night in Canada doubleheader on Saturday nights. Imagine TNT airing one game of its NBA doubleheader and then shuffling the other game to NBA League Pass. Be considerate for a change.

And one non-sports media grievance, to the network morning shows: I don’t care about the Royal Wedding. Give me the weather forecast and stop trying to force feed coverage of a wedding that will take no more than 15 minutes! Please. We don’t care!

That will conclude the Airing of Grievances. I hope to find that one Festivus Miracle that makes this day the true Holiday that everyone enjoys.

About Ken Fang

Ken has been covering the sports media in earnest at his own site, Fang's Bites since May 2007 and at Awful Announcing since March 2013. He provides a unique perspective having been an award-winning radio news reporter in Providence and having worked in local television. Fang celebrates the three Boston Red Sox World Championships in the 21st Century, but continues to be a long-suffering Cleveland Browns fan.

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