Bill Walton was back on the ESPN Family of Networks on Tuesday, calling the NIT First Round game between Stephen F. Austin and Stanford with Dave Flemming.
He was on for the entire game. Here’s the quotage.
Courtesy Matt Yoder, Awful Announcing
(About mixing up players and schools)
“I want to apologize right off the bat, because I know I’m going to make a mistake tonight and say ‘Taylor Swift’ instead of ‘Taylor Smith.’ It’s not intentional. I’m also going to say ‘Stephen A. Smith’ instead of ‘Stephen F. Austin.’ so please bear with me.”(On Stanford’s substituting all five players)
“Mark this down in NCAA history! Five substitutions at once!”(On Taylor Smith of Stephen F. Austin)
“Taylor Smith’s anticipation. He’s not a tall guy. Maybe 6’6″. Got really long arms. Got really powerful broad shoulders. Fabulous footwork … But that posture he has, that regal center, yeah! ‘I’m Paul Bunyon! I’m coming to California to chop these trees down!'”(On few fouls called)
Dave Flemming: “We’ve had very few whistles in this first half.”
Bill Walton: “Good! Let them play!”
Dave Flemming: “Free flowing game.”
Bill Walton: “But you can’t just push a guy out of the way!”(On Stanford and California)
Walton: “Why would you ever want to leave Stanford? Oh my gosh! Driving through the campus today with the light rain coming down. Everyone on their bikes, it’s just absolutely fantastic. All the new buildings, the new construction.”
Flemming: “Smell the eucalyptus groves.”
Walton: “Ah… I remember wandering through the forest here at Stanford. Those of us who live in California, what a day it was before the rain came in! Flying up over Big Sur, Monterrey, Carmel, and on 17. Boy, everybody on the plane flying Southwest, just grinning broadly! California, meet me on the burning shore!”(On the college basketball postseason)
“What a perfect time of year, basketball all day, everyday!”(After an offensive foul by Stanford)
“You have the treat the opposition even if they are from Texas with a little more respect”(After a Stanford run)
“Timeout on the court here. The Lumberjacks are to sharpen those teeth on the chainsaws.”(On the 5 second rule, the shot clock and other rules)
Walton: “A rule that must be done away with when they finally get around to modernizing and logicalizing and rationalizing the rules! But the shot clock…”
Flemming: “Let’s start with the shot clock.”
Walton: “The shot clock should be 30.”
Flemming: “Should be 30.”
Walton: “You shouldn’t be able to score and commit an offensive foul at the same time! You shouldn’t be able to call time out when the other team has the ball!”
Flemming: “We’ve got some work to do, Bill.”(At halftime)
“We’ve got a game here! The Lumberjacks have cut down the trees in the first half! Oh my gosh! The Pac-12 had better wake up! Washington has already gone down tonight! A lot of tough games! Time for the locals to shine here in California through the rain!”(On Stephen F. Austin)
“All the way from Texas, they have come here to take down the California tree and it has worked magnificently!”(On Stanford)
Walton: “They’re Stanford University! They have a $17 billion endowment! You know how much is Stephen F. Austin’s?
Flemming: “I don’t.”
Walton: “$18 million!”(On the Apple Store in Palo Alto, CA)
Walton: “University Avenue here in Palo Alto? What more can you ask for? The new Apple Store! Have you seen it?
Flemming: “It’s pretty slick.”
Walton: “All glass! Palo Alto Cycles just up the road as well!”(On Robert Morris upsetting Kentucky in the NIT)
“Robert Morris standing tall. Walking like a giant signing the Declaration of Independence taking down the Kentucky Wildcats.”(On storming the court)
“That should also be outlawed! It’s so dangerous! For those of you at home… Do not storm the court! Big mistake!”(On a Stephen F. Austin dunk)
“Throw it down, big man! Big time! Chop it down!”(On Taylor Smith)
“The Paul Bunyon out there, Taylor Smith”(About SFA coach Danny Kaspar and a First Take reference)
“I want Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless to give Danny Kaspar some love tomorrow.”(On Nacogdoches, Texas where Stephen F. Austin is located)
“So much going on there in Nacogdoches! Oh my gosh! Don Henley! Started his dream right there so many years ago! Don Henley, one of the most brilliant songwriters, musicians, performers ever! Now with The Eagles, along with Joe Walsh, Glenn Frye, Timothy Schmidt! They have a fabulous documentary on them right now, ‘The History of The Eagles.’ The Eagles are playing this Saturday night, the 23rd at the MGM Grand where we just were for the Pac-12 Conference. The Age of Innocence is over! Oh my gosh! Hotel California! Thank you, Don Henley! Thank you, Glen, Joe, Timothy! Incredible contribution here!”(A Sierra Club reference)
“The Sierra Club has to be breathing a little easier, worried about the trees just being cut down here in California.”(Giving the Pac-12 some love)
“The Pac-12, the world’s greatest conference!”(As Stephen F. Austin kept the ball game close)
“This is where dreams come true, where legends are made!”(Giving SFA coach Danny Kaspar love)
“Thank heaven for Danny Kaspar. He’s saving the game of basketball.”(On a Stanford timeout)
“Stanford’s calling timeout??? They’re in control!! The other team’s in desperate straits!”(After Stanford wins following an SFA miss)
“One more pass to a wide open guy! Oh my gosh! What a game! What a finish! Tough! Fierce! Competitive! Intense! Tenacious! All the things you love about basketball!”(Concluding the game)
“We’re the luckiest people on earth!”(Finally)
“Dave, you’re a genius! Thanks for your patience.”
Tremendous stuff as usual.
