The Amazing Race Asia 2 – Ep. 5 Recap

After last week’s boring episode and piss-poor behavior of Rovilson & Marc and Terri, I was thoroughly disgusted and decided not to do a recap. This week’s episode was much better, although the behavior from the aforementioned didn’t improve by much, there was more suspense. But looking back on Episode 4, it appeared to me that Alan wasn’t too happy with Rovilson & Marc pretending to be lost “only to find” the mat right in front of them.

Ok, let’s begin. Seven teams remain after Sophie & Aurelia were eliminated last week at an Hours of Operation on the way to Rotorua, New Zealand. Rotorua was the 4th pit stop on the Rovilson & Marc Invitational Race. In fact, we’re no longer going to refer to the Philippino alpha male team by name. From now on, they’re going to be referred to as the Arrogant Assholes. And if possible, we will not put any pictures of them until they’re eliminated. They have practically ruined my enjoyment of this race and I can’t believe anyone can find these two idiots enteraining. Anyway, we continue.

The Arrogant Assholes are the first to leave the mat at 12:46 a.m. and they find they’re to go to Tokyo, Japan. From Rotorua, the teams are to go to Auckland International Airport and fly to Tokyo. They’ll make their way to Shiba Park where they will find their next clue.

The AA’s mug for the camera once again and get into their car to drive to the airport. Arrogant Asshole #1 says in a pre-leg confessional that they’re clicking on all cylinders. I really hope they don’t win this race. In the car, Arrogant Asshole #2 says he’ll have to keep Arrogant Asshole #1 from the Japanese girls. Maybe they can both be arrested in Japan for attempted assault. I can only hope. I can’t fault these two for winning legs, but I can fault them for constantly mugging and thinking of one-liners instead of being real. Reality TV is about being real, not scripting or faking something. Jerks.

And on the way to the airport, these two fuckfaces get out of their car and bow to a sheep. Go away.

Next to depart are Adrian & Collin who have done very well in this race and are my favorites to go to the Final Three. Yes, Adrian is hearing impaired, but it hasn’t stopped this team from doing very well. They’re followed by the bubbly Paula & Natasha who are also doing quite well. And Paula is loved as she’s a TV host in the ANZAC region.

After the childhood friends leave, it’s Malaysian moms Ann & Diane. They have three third place finishes and one fourth. They’re hoping to do better here. While three teams are on the road, the Arrogant Assholes have reached the Auckland International Airport. Diane says the AA’s are the strongest and she would like to see them gone. And inside the airport, the Horsefaces find out the ticket counter is closed until 4 a.m. which means bunching.

Siblings Daichi & Sawaka leave the mat next and find they’re going home to Tokyo. They’ll definitely have an advantage here. Sawaka says she and Daichi know Japan really well and knowing the language, they’ll definitely have an advantage over the other teams.

Now we get a strange sequence as Vanessa & Pamela are labeled “Last to Depart, 5:06 a.m.”, but we then see shots of Terri & Henry leaving as “6th to depart, 4:26 a.m.” Either it’s a mistake by the producers or Vanessa & Pamela got up late or got a penalty, but whatever, it doesn’t matter because of the airport bunching.

Henry says something that is an indirect shot at the casting, “We’re not movie stars. We’re not dancers or singers. We don’t host our own show. We’re not models. We’re different from most of them. That’s just the way we are.” That’s the thing about reality TV, you get real people, not the Mactors like the producers have for this version of the race. It’s cost them I feel. But we move on.

Natasha says Paula has been to Japan numerous times and can speak a little of the language. And Japanese people love her because she’s cute. That Natasha can be snarky sometimes. I like that.

We get analysis from the teams speaking about Japan and the language barrier that definitely comes into play in this episode. Sawaka says she’s willing to help the other teams with the exception of the Malaysian moms. She especially doesn’t like Diane. Terri says “Diane is the sneaky, evil one. You wanna be sweetie, sweetie, but deep inside, she’s a devil, too.” Now up to this point, we really haven’t seen any evidence of this. And Paula & Natasha pile on calling Diane “fake”. I wonder what she did to make the teams feel this way. Perhaps as the number of teams dwindle, we’ll see evidence of this, but up to this point, the moms have come across in a favorable light. Yes, they can’t navigate to save their lives, but their edits have been quite good. Maybe that will change in this episode. Daichi says the Malaysian moms are rude … and it seems nobody likes them. That’s harsh. Then Natasha adds if the moms do something against them, then it’s Game On! Wow. I’m now hoping for some conflict.

The Arrogant Assholes are waiting at the airport and find out the first flight out to Tokyo isn’t until midnight so this will allow all of the teams to catch up and go on the same flight to Japan. All 7 teams are on the flight to Tokyo, as Alan says a journey of 8,839 km.

Once out of the airplane and customs, the Japanese siblings, Daichi & Sawaka rush out first and head to the subway to take them from Narita Airport to downtown Tokyo. They hide behind a column in hopes the other teams don’t find them and thus, missing the train.

Terri & Henry run into their first obstacle, the language barrier. They try to get instructions on which train to take into Tokyo, but as Henry says, “I would never recommend anyone going to Japan for a vacation.” Terri adds people want to help, but they don’t speak English and she has no clue what they’re talking about. When Terri & Henry are like this, they’re funny, but when Terri is in bullying mode, it’s not fun to watch.

All of the teams except for Terri & Henry get on board the same train heading from Narita to Tokyo. Arrogant Asshole #1 finds a girl to hang on to and asks her for the correct time. He tries to flirt with her, but she kicks him squarely in the nuts. Ok,
she doesn’t, but this scene is just stupid to watch.

Terri & Henry finally get on a train to Tokyo, solidly behind the other 6 teams. Daichi & Sawaka sprint out up an escalator leaving the other teams to fend for themselves. Right off the bat, we get separation. While sisters Pamela & Vanessa ask natives how to get to Shiba Park, the Male Egotists get on a train. Daichi & Sawaka decide to take another subway, then get off to find a taxi to get to Shiba Park. Terri & Henry find a native who gives them a crash course in Japanese. Good luck.

Ann & Diane get out of the subway station and take someone’s taxi to go to Shiba Park. So Daichi & Sawaka along with the AA’s get out of the train. Over to Paula & Natasha who are having trouble finding their way out of the subway station. Adrian & Collin find a taxi and we find that Adrian speaks Japanese which will help in this leg. The sisters also find a cab and head off to Shiba Park. But Paula & Natasha are still lost inside the station and can’t find their way out. Paula bumps into a woman at the turnstiles and it’s a mess for the childhood friends.

Daichi & Sawaka find a cab now that they’re out of the subway station and head towards the park. The moms appear to be on their way on foot to the park, but Terri & Henry have just arrived at Tokyo Station way behind the other teams.

The moms are first to arrive at the park, but cannot find the clue. They search inside, outside and probably around the park, but walk around aimlessly. Believe it or not, the Arrogant Assholes are the first to find the clue box and find that they must take a flagged rickshaw and direct the driver to the Sony Building in the Ginza district of Tokyo. Once there, they’ll receive their next clue.

Daichi & Sawaka are next to see the clue box and they both say once they get to Ginza, they know the way to the Sony Building. The Arrogant Assholes realize they should have bought a map of Tokyo, but it’s too late.

Paula & Natasha are seen getting out of train and are not confident getting out. Terri & Henry are still in Tokyo Station, but she suggests to get a cab so they can get out of there. Vanessa & Pamela get out of their cab, but they’re in a different section of the park, so they don’t see the clue box.

Daichi & Sawaka see the Arrogant Assholes and they instruct their driver to overtake the Egotistical Men which they do. Unfortunately the Assholes instruct their driver to follow the siblings to the Sony Building.

At the park, the Malaysian moms and Adrian & Collin try to work together to find the clue. The gym buddies find it before Ann & Diane and are able to get out of the park. Paula & Natasha finally reach the park, but again, it’s in a different section so they aren’t able to find the box and are lost. The sisters are also lost and feel it could be a long night. The two teams meet up and decide to work together to see if they can find it.

Terri & Henry arrive at what appears to be the park and finally, Ann & Diane find the entrance and the clue box. Natasha feels that four heads working together are better than two. Vanessa said the park is so big. Natasha said that Vanessa & Pamela work different than she and Paula do, but again, no evidence of what she’s talking about. Terri & Henry ask a policeman for help and he kind of points them in the right direction.

So we have four teams on rickshaws and three teams still lost in the park. Terri & Henry are walking by themselves while childhood friends Paula & Natasha and sisters Vanessa & Pamela are working together to try to find the clue. But all of a sudden, the husband-wife team find the clue and are fifth to get a rickshaw.

The first two teams, Daichi & Sawaka and the Arrogant Assholes get to the Sony Building to get their next clue. They find they must convince someone on the street to sing “Sakura” with one team member, a Japanese traditional song about Cherry Blossoms. The other will use (dreaded product placement ahead) a Sony HD Handicam to record the performance.

They’ll then return to the Sony Building to have their performance assessed. If the judge is satisfied, the teams will receive their next clue.

So both the Arrogant Assholes and Daichi & Sawaka go into the Sony store to grab their Handicams and go out into the streets to try to convince some sucker …. I mean, a willing participant to sing Sakura. The AA’s quickly find a girl who is practically raped into the singing the song. Daichi & Sawaka have trouble finding someone right away. Arrogant Asshole #1 sings along with the girl and it’s obvious he has no idea what he’s doing.

In the meantime, the other teams that are riding rickshaws are on their way. However, not all of them are successful in finding the Ginza district.

Back to the Shitheads, Arrogant Asshole #1 is mugging for the camera again and it’s sickening. And Arrogant Asshole #2 who’s shooting this on the Handicam, also mugs which makes me want to take them out with a high powered rifle at close range. Daichi & Sawaka can’t find anyone to take part. But the Big & Tall Wastes of Oxygen have finished shooting their girl and take the tape into the Sony Store to get their next clue.

While Paula & Natasha continue to wander aimlessly around Shiba Park, Daichi & Sawaka finally find a woman to sing “Sakura”. If you saw the first edition of Amazing Race Asia, this is strikingly similar to the task in Sydney when teams were asked to use a Sony HD Handicam to shoot a local singing “Click Go the Shears“. I hope Sony doesn’t ask teams to do this again next season because this task is painful to watch.

Inside the store, the Amazingly Untalented, Unfunny & Unintelligent Assholes are getting jiggy to the tape of their participant, but they’re both knocked down a peg when the judge says the girl messed up the lyrics. HA! Arrogant Asshole #1 says, “She laughed. She laughed.” But the judge orders them to go back out to the streets and find someone to sing it correctly. While they try to plead their case, you can tell the judge is not falling for their attempts to charm her into giving the reason why their attempt fell short. She tells them the girl didn’t do it right and throws the camera at their head. Maybe she didn’t do that, but she should have.

Over to Sawaka, she finishes her performance with her participant (it’s a good thing Sawaka can sing), and the tape is taken inside. While the Unfailingly Short on Talent Assholes try to find someone to sing, they discover that mostly tourists are congregating outside so they’re having trouble in getting someone who knows the song. This is good. Perhaps they can be arrested by Tokyo Police for starting an international incident and thrown in jail for life.

The judge approves of Sawaka’s performance and promptly gives her and Daichi their next clue. They’ll have to go to Shibuya, the youth fashion center of Tokyo and (dreaded product placement ahead) using a Sony Cybershot camera, find the girl pictured who’s dressed as her favorite anime character. This is known as “cosplay“. Once teams find the girl, they’ll receive their next clue.

We see a scene of the Philippine Jackasses finding two girls to sing “Sakura” and it’s harsh. I won’t go further with it because it really should have been censored from public viewing.

But back to Shiba Park, the last two teams, Paula & Natasha and Vanessa & Pamela are consulting a map to see exactly where they should go to find the clue box. They realize they have to go around back to the main entrance where the box is located. I feel for them.

Back at the Sony Store, the Big on Brawn, but Short on Brains Team are finished and hand their tape over to the judge who finally gives them their next clue.

So they and Daichi & Sawaka are rushing off to the Ginza Line of the Tokyo Subway to get to Shibuya. We then notice that the last two teams are still walking around Shiba Park, trying to find that last clue. It’s been a nightmare for both all-girl teams thus far.

The Malaysian moms, Ann & Diane reach the Sony Building. They’re followed by Adrian & Collin who are getting close.

And finally, breathing a sigh of relief, Paula & Natasha and Vanessa & Pamela get to the clue box at Shiba Park ending their long nocturnal nightmare. They get on their rickshaws and head over to the Ginza District.

Terri & Henry are still on their way to the Sony Building.

And Daichi & Sawaka are getting onto another train to find the girl on their digital camera. The Philippine Version of Lenny & Squiggy are also boarding a train to Shibuya.

Over to Ann & Diane, they’ve found a girl, but she can’t do it so they basically hogtie a businessman into singing “Sakura”. This reminds me of Charla & Mirna bullying people into helping during TAR All Stars, but I digress. While Ann is trying to choreograph their number, Collin & Adrian rush into the Sony Store to grab an HD Handicam. Ann says she knew of the song so it was easy for her to sing. The businessman was just basically there for the ride. They bring their tape to the judge and are able to get their next clue.

Adrian & Collin are now in the streets of Tokyo trying to convince someone to sing. Adrian speaks Japanese giving him an advantage over the other teams and he’s able to find someone to take part while Collin for all intents and purposes butchered the song. Collin said he would never sing again, at least he knows his limitations.

The top two teams, Daichi & Sawaka and the Big & Tall Melonheads have made it to Shibuya and start to see if the girl in their cameras are a match. After going around to a few girls, Daichi & Sawaka find their girl as depicted in the (dreaded product placement ahead) Sony Cybershot camera and are given their next clue. They find they’ve reached a Detour.

As we all know, a Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, we get a choice of Catch It or Cart It.

In Catch It, teams must catch 40 goldfish using traditional paddles. However, the paddles are lined with rice paper which quickly disintegrate once they touch the water.

In Cart It, teams must find this place, a dry cleaner and take a Yukata, a tr
aditional Japanese garment or better known as a casual form of kimono, and deliver it by foot to a local address. However, trying to find the address while navigating the confusing streets of Tokyo could take a long time. Daichi & Sawaka decide to do Cart It.

Over to Terri & Henry, they’re still trying to navigate the streets hoping to find the Sony Building. And while they’re getting the directions on how to get there, Henry notes that people can’t give them the right directions when they don’t understand their questions. Plus if he can’t understand the answer, then it’s a double disaster. And you can tell he’s just lost in this pic.

Paula & Natasha are seemingly on their way on their rickshaw while Vanessa & Pamela are battling the language barrier as well.

Over to Ann & Diane, they’re on their way to the cosplay location and quite happy with their efforts thus far. Collin is still singing “Sakura”, but he finally manages to finish and once the judge sees their tape, he and Adrian get their next clue and are ready to leave.

Back to the Arrogant Assholes, they’re really having trouble finding Shibuya, not faking it like they did last week and it feels good. They look at maps and they’re all in Japanese so they’re lost in the subway station.

Vanessa & Pamela are frustrated over not being able to reach the Sony Building as their questions are not being understood.

Finally, the Men of Stupidity finally find the girls dressed in anime costumes and try to find the right one, but after several attempts, they finally get the right answer and are given their next clue.

While trying to find the laundry, Daichi & Sawaka stumble on the Catch It detour and decide to try it. Daichi acknowledges that he hasn’t caught fish since Primary School, but it’s worth a try.

The Slimy Shitheads flip a coin as they continue to play for the camera and decide to do the Cart It task.

Daichi tries to catch a goldfish, but breaks his paddle instead.

Adrian & Collin grab a cab and head to Shibuya.

Sawaka finds the going tough and suggests she and Daichi change tasks which he immediately welcomes with open arms. They head over to the dry cleaner to find the Yukata.

Paula & Natasha and Vanessa & Pamela finally reach the Sony Building leaving Terri & Henry still on in their rickshaw and hopelessly lost. The two all-girl teams find a sucker …. er … willing participant to sing “Sakura”. Finally, Terri & Henry reach the Sony Building. You can feel the anger within her ready to blow.

While the Unfunny Urinary Tracts get directions to find the dry cleaner, Terri finds someone to sing with her while Henry looks into his Handicam. Ann & Diane along with Adrian & Collin have reached Shibuya and start looking for their cosplay girl. I keep wanting to write “Costco“, but I stop short.

Daichi & Sawaka find the dry cleaner and get their Yukata with the address you see on the left. Sawaka wonders if it’s a Kimono Rental place, but it is indeed a Kimono Rental place. The Giant Dickheads start to look for the dry cleaners wandering through the streets of Tokyo.

Ann & Diane are asking locals for help finding the cosplay area to no avail.

Vanessa & Pamela finish their song performance, but find out that they pressed the record button twice meaning the tape was paused during the entire time. So they have to do the whole thing all over again.

No such misfortune for Paula & Natasha. Not only did they tape the performance correctly, they also did the song right. So they get their clue and rush off towards Shibuya.

But at Shibuya, Adrian & Collin are having trouble finding the girls dressed in costume. But Ann spots them while on an escalator and she’s able run downstairs while recognizing the girl in the (dreaded product placement) Sony Cybershot camera to get their next clue. The girls are cute, are they not? Anyway, as I get my head out of the clouds, Ann decides for her team that the moms will Catch It.

Gym buddies Adrian & Collin stumble on the girls and start looking for the one pictured in their camera. They have no luck at first, but finally find her and they are able to get their clue.

Ann & Diane lasso a guy asking him directions to get to the next task. Adrian & Collin decide on Cart It. And after learning the location of the Catch It, they switch and decide to Cart It.

Back to the last teams at the Sony Building, Terri finishes her performance, but Henry also pressed the record button on his camera twice so they must do the whole thing all over again. Terri’s emotions are about to enter the red zone and we’re not talking about the NFL here.

Terri can be heard yelling while Vanessa is singing “Sakura” with a man outside the Sony Store. And Terri lets Henry have it for
not recording properly. This starts a whole new sequence of Terri’s bad behavior in this leg. She’s yelling at Henry to hurry up, but he says he’s not going to rush their participant.

In the meantime, the sisters are done and get their next clue.

Terri finds two men to sing with her and this time, Henry makes sure he records everything. We see Paula & Natasha get on a subway train to Shibuya. Vanessa & Pamela decide to take a cab to Shibuya. And Terri is happy to be finished singing. And the married couple are finally allowed to leave the Sony Store.

As Henry reads their next clue, Terri looks like her mind is about to shut down and wants to leave the race. They head out to Shibuya, but at the same time, Daichi & Sawaka have finished the Detour delivering the Yukata to the Kimono Rental place.

The siblings rip open their clue to discover their next task, a Roadblock. We know that a Roadblock is a task that only one person may perform.

In this Roadblock, teams now must travel to the Icebar Tokyo where they will have to decipher an ice puzzle to get their next destination. The puzzle contains several possible combinations so teams will have to maintain their cool while solving it.

The question of “Who is Cold and Calculating” is taken by Sawaka who decides to take on this task.

After an enjoyable five minutes without the Giant Dickheads, we unfortunately see them again, but this time, it’s for a totally good reason. The directions they received to a dry cleaner turns out to be the wrong one, so they have to start all over again.

Henry has his camera which contains the cosplay girl. Terri is just yelling at him. Horrible.

In their cab heading over to the Icebar, Daichi says he would like to see the Malaysian moms eliminated in this leg, but in terms of the race, he would like to see the Arrogant Assholes out and Sawaka adds that Japan is the only place where they can beat them.

The Slimy Shitheads who are still looking for the dry cleaner see Ann & Diane and try to steer them in the wrong direction but they see through this rouse. Eventually, the AA’s find the place and grab one Yukata to deliver to the Kimono Rental Place. Ann & Diane suddenly discover the Shitheads have disappeared. But they find the dry cleaner without further delay.

Terri & Henry are having all types of trouble finding Shibuya. They get out of the subway, then back into the subway. He says, “All of the streets signs are in Japanese so it’s tough for an American to get around. I hated Japan before and I really hate it now.”

Over to Ann & Diane, they are scurrying through the confusing streets of Tokyo. However, the Giant Jerks have found the Kimono Rental place, how I don’t know. Arrogant Asshole #1 decides he’s cold and calculated and agrees to do the Roadblock. They grab a taxi and head over to the Icebar Tokyo.

Ann & Diane continue to have trouble finding the Kimono Rental place. The other all-girl teams, Paula & Natasha and Vanessa & Pamela are at Shibuya looking for the cosplay area and both teams arrive there at about the same time. Both search for the proper girls and Paula is able to find hers. Soon afterwards, Vanessa & Pamela are able to find their girl as well. For the Detour, Paula & Natasha decide to Cart It. Vanessa & Pamela go for Catch It.

Terri & Henry board a train and she’s completely exhausted. Killer Fatigue is setting in for her and she’s about to blow.

Ann & Diane have practically strongarmed a Domino’s Pizza delivery guy on a motorbike to take them to the Kimono Rental place. So he leads them on his motorbike while the moms follow on foot.

While Henry is still enthusiastic about finding the girl, Terri tells him off in what is really despicable behavior. He says all they have to do is find her, but she’s having none of it. The train doors open and she orders him to get off. How does this couple stay married? But they manage to find themselves in the right area. Will they be able to find the right girl before Terri blows her top?

As Ann & Diane run down one street, Adrian & Collin are seen running in another direction. But Vanessa & Pamela aren’t even at the Detour yet. They’re asking for directions, but the locals can’t help them. And Paula & Natasha aren’t having any luck either.

Adrian & Collin have finally found the dry cleaner and take the Yukata.

Over to the Icebar Tokyo, Daichi & Sawaka have arrived. She puts on a parka and goes into the freezing bar where the ice puzzle awaits. She says the room was very cold and the letters were in giant ice cubes. She was told that she could go outside to get warm, but Sawaka refused knowing she had to finish.

Ann & Diane have finally found the Kimono Rental place and get their next clue. Ann says she’s cold and calculating so she’ll be solving the puzzle.

At the Icebar, Sawaka tries “Kyoto” and is told it is wrong.

Vanessa & Pamela ask another local for directions, but she offers them barbecued chicken instead.

Paula & Natasha are having trouble finding the dry cleaner, but Adrian & Collin have finally delivered their Yukata and get their next clue. Adrian decides he will do the task.

Ann & Diane are on their way to the Icebar in a subway train, however, they find asking locals for directions is like asking a heart surgeon to perform plastic surgery. It’s not going well.

Over to the Icebar, Sawaka offers Fukuoka as an answer, and she discovers it’s the right answer! She gets her next clue encased in ice and is instructed to open it outside of the Icebar.

She breaks it open and as Daichi opens the clue, they find that they will have to go to the Shinigawa Train Station where they will take a bullet train to Fukuoka.

Alan tells us that Fukuoka is the largest city on the island of Kyushu. It’s been an important harbor city for many centuries.

They will make their way to the pyramid at the the Fukuoka International Congress Center which will be the pit stop for this leg of the race. Alan says the last team to check in, may be eliminated. Right. Whatever you say.

Over to the last team, Terri & Henry. They’ve been bringing up the rear for most of the race. Terri is now under the grasps of Killer Fatigue. She now wants to go home. Henry wants to keep going, but she’s had enough.

Paula & Natasha who originally decided to Cart It have stumbled on the goldfish so they decide to Catch It instead.

Terri & Henry are trudging along and can’t find Shibuya. She says she wants to quit, but he asks to give her until 11:45 p.m. to find the girl. But she doesn’t want to backtrack as he’s suggesting. She yells at him. He tries to shush her, but she’s still yelling. Horrible. But they finally find the girls and the one pictured in their Cybershot. They argue over who found her first, but the main thing is that they found her. And they decide to do Catch It which for them, is the right move.

With the goldfish, Natasha says she’s done this on a video game so she’s catching fish with ease.

Over to the Icebar, the Shitheads have arrived with Shithead #1 putting on his parka and to take on the ice puzzle. He makes some stupid comment about going to Chicago. Shut up and do your puzzle, pisshead.

Vanessa & Pamela are frustrated as they can’t find the goldfish task. The streets are confusing. There are no numbers. They can’t ask anyone. They walk aimlessly in Tokyo.

Meanwhile, Baldy is trying to decipher his puzzle and mugs for the camera saying he wants to spell “Vegas”. Spell S-H-U-T T-H-E F-U-C-K U-P.

Paula & Natasha are getting close to the total of 40 goldfish. And they indeed reach the total to get their next clue. Paula decides to it.

Vanessa & Pamela finally reach the goldfish task just as the other all-girl team is going into the taxi to go to the Icebar. The sisters are breaking paddles left and right. Paula says they’re overthinking the clues not realizing the locations are right under their noses.

In the meantime, the Giant Bald Eagle has figured out the next destination is Nagasaki which is wrong.

Vanessa & Pamela keep breaking their paddles.
Daichi & Sawaka have made it to Shinagawa Station. Sawaka explains the ice puzzle task was very cold and her hands became numb. While Arrogant Asshole #1 tries Kyoto which is wrong, Sawaka says the other teams will have trouble with the task. And the Giant Squid tries Nagasaki for the second time and again it’s wrong. Jerk.

Vanessa & Pamela have caught 9 fish so they’re on their way. Henry correctly surmises that the goldfish paddles will be made of rice paper while Terri yells at him. He’s got to get out of that marriage. This is unhealthy. While Vanessa & Pamela are increasing their fish count, Terri & Henry get directions to the task.

Unfortunately, Giant Squid #1 has solved the puzzle and gets his next clue. Giant Squid #2 breaks the clue over his head. Oh, these two are so funny. Yeah, funny for me to poop on. They now head to the train station.

Vanessa & Pamela finally finish the Catch It detour and get their next clue. Their long nightmare is not over, however. While they try to decide who is cold and calculating, Pamela eventually volunteers.

Adrian & Collin have made their way to the Icebar while Ann & Diane are on their way there. Ann says she can no longer run and sits down on the escalator.

Adrian tries the ice puzzle and offers Kobe as an answer. No beef here. He’ll try again.

Terri continues to yell at Henry. Meanwhile, Vanessa & Pamela get into a cab and go over poss
ible answers of which they actually state Fukuoka.

Henry & Terri have finally gotten to the goldfish task and he tries to grasp how to do it.

Adrian drops one of the cubes on the floor. As Terri & Henry catch the goldfish, she admits that doing that task actually calmed her down. And she’s the loving Terri now. Good gravy, man. And they finally finish the task to get their next clue. Henry decides that he’ll tackle the ice puzzle.

Adrian then tries Yokohama, but that’s wrong. He tries Tokyo, but he’s in Tokyo, so that’s out. Ann & Diane have reached the Icebar and Ann goes inside to try her hand at the puzzle. So she’s now inside with Adrian.

As the Philippine Pissants enter the Shinagawa Train Station, Sawaka finds that the next train to Fukuoka isn’t until 6 a.m. so as each team finishes the ice puzzle, we’ll get a giant bunching once again.

Ann tries Kyoto which is wrong. Finally, Adrian comes up with Fukuoka and he’s able to get out of the Icebar with the next clue. Adrian admits that he knew Fukuoka is one of the largest cities in Japan, but he kicks himself over taking a long time “to unravel the mystery.” It’s not quite obvious. I don’t think I would have been able to figure that out right off the bat.

The last teams are now heading to the Icebar. Paula & Natasha find an American who points them in the right direction. Terri & Henry are also on their way there.

Ann tries Osaka while covering up “MA” and that’s wrong. As Paula & Natasha arrive at the Icebar, Ann gets the right answer and the next clue.

Paula goes inside and tries Yokohama. Try again.

Ann says her fingertips are hurting after doing the ice puzzle. Frostbite. We know it here in the Northeastern United States.

Paula tries another answer and that’s wrong too. Adrian & Collin have arrived at the train station only to be informed by the Arrogant Assholes that they won’t be leaving right away. They say they’re looking for a place to sleep so they decide to lie outside. I hope they get mugged for mugging for the camera.

Paula tries Kobe and that’s incorrect. Natasha looks inside and says Paula looks like Snow White. She finally comes up with Fukuoka and is able to get her next clue. Paula is rubbing her fingers after dealing with the ice cubes.

Now, Vanessa & Pamela are going over possible answers as they arrive at the Icebar. Pamela is strapped and she looks like she’s drawing a blank. She tries to write some answers down going over all of the possibilities, but none are coming to her. Vanessa says outside, “I really don’t know if she can do this.” Pamela says she doesn’t have a clue and that’s going to hurt her in this stage. She cries and walks out of the room.

She’s tired and she’s straining for an answer. But after taking a few moments, Pamela gathers the strength to go inside. Vanessa asks if she wants to take a few more moments, but Pamela says she’s ok.

Terri & Henry have finally arrived and he puts on the parka to go into the icy cold room.

Both Pamela and Henry are struggling to come up with an answer. Her first attempt is wrong. Vanessa says, “It might be a long night in Tokyo.” Terri just puts her hand over her face.

Henry tries some garbled word and of course it’s wrong. But Pamela finally comes up with Fukoka and it’s right. She gets her clue and runs out of the room. But she leaves enough of the answer up so Henry can peek at it and he’s able to get Fukuoka as well. He said if he didn’t do that, he would still be at the Icebar. Whatever it takes, I guess. Pamela says didn’t think Henry would actually take a look her answer.

Paula & Natasha have arrived at Shinagawa.

Henry has now put together Fukuoka and is able to get his next clue.

Vanessa asks Pamela if Henry saw her answer and she replies, “Part of it.” Henry says he outright cheated and looked over Pamela’s shoulder. Oh well. He isn’t proud of it, but he needed to get out of there.

So now all of the teams are now bunched at Shinagawa Train Station and are either sleeping outside of the station or in line at the ticket counter.

So thanks to this massive bunching at the train station, all 7 teams are now on same bullet station to Fukuoka, a journey of 1,100 km.

Once out of the train, the teams don’t have to worry about customs so they run towards a taxi.

For some strange reason, the Arrogant Assholes put on fake mustaches in another attempt to be funny. It’s not. It’s just another in a long line of scripted behavior between these two jerkoffs. I really hope they get eliminated because they are really getting in the way of my enjoyment of this season. Michael McKay, Executive Producer must be blamed for accepting these two idiots for this season. Everything between these two is fake and is as far from reality television as you can get. We like reality TV because it’s real. If I want scripted comedy, I’ll watch “The Office” or Fox News Channel, but this is out of hand.

So it’s
a race of the teams to the mat. Ann & Diane reach the mat first, but we see only Alan standing there. No, wait! He says the race is not over. He says this is not a pit stop and he hands the Malaysian Moms their next clue. And the leg is ….. “TO BE CONTINUED.”

So with this, we don’t have an order of finish as of yet. Expect this race to continue and I do hope Daichi & Sawaka can use their home country advantage to finally eliminate the Arrogant Assholes. We’ll see you next week.

About Ken Fang

Ken has been covering the sports media in earnest at his own site, Fang's Bites since May 2007 and at Awful Announcing since March 2013. He provides a unique perspective having been an award-winning radio news reporter in Providence and having worked in local television. Fang celebrates the three Boston Red Sox World Championships in the 21st Century, but continues to be a long-suffering Cleveland Browns fan.

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